My Peruvian Nightmare

For some reason in Peru, I have and remember my dreams every night.

It's practically the same dream every night with slight variations as to the setting, characters and time frame.

Setting:

I am all of a sudden home from my Peruvian ventures. (Home is a term I use loosely to describe practically anywhere in the USA.)

I'm with friends/family/old acquaintances answering questions about my time in Peru.

It all of a sudden hits me that I didn't do anything in Peru! I didn't make a difference in anybody's lives, I didn't teach anybody anything, I still can't speak Spanish, I didn't see the sites I wanted to see. Heck, I didn't even bring home one single Peruvian anything! It's almost as if I never even went.

At this point I am frantic. What was I thinking? Why did I waste so much time and money? Why didn't I just stay in America and get married? Etc. Etc.

Enter [stage left] all the people (you know who you are :) who discouraged me (seriously or in jest)  from coming to Peru in one way or another. Those who said I wouldn't last two weeks. Those who said I'd never learn the language. Those who said "Wait... does this even have anything to do with your major?" Those who said I'd come back too old and too career driven to find a husband. Yada, yada, yada the list goes on. These people are all there, rubbing these facts/opinions in my face, smothered with 1000 "I told you so's".

Are you getting depressed yet? Because I sure do each time (every night) I dream about this. 

The upside to this nightmare is that I wake up. 

I wake up SO relieved to find myself in my little Peruvian bed under my Peruvian mold with my Peruvian bug bites and 100x more motivated to make the most of my time here. 

I count everyday that I wake up here a blessing because it means that I have yet another opportunity to make a difference.

 Whether it be by sitting with 13-year-old Luis during lunch and asking him about his hopes and dreams, his fears and his concerns. Or maybe it's by letting 3-year-old Antony chase me all around the room, laughing hysterically the whole time until he finally catches up with me and throws his arms around my neck and plants a kiss on my cheek. 

   Iknow they're just little things. But in my heart of hearts, I know that I'm making a difference here, and will continue to do so, little by little and with big things as well. Speaking of which, we've planned our first field trip with the kids. Stay tuned for more on that.

To top it off, can I just say that I am SO happy? I love my little ninos so much more than I ever thought possible. The shy ones, the outgoing ones. The chubby ones, the loud ones, the smart ones, the ones who write me sweet notes or make me cute bracelets, the ones who teach me bad words and bad hand gestures, the ones who have nothing, the ones without families, the ones who smell like they haven't seen water in months, the ones who kiss me hello and goodbye every time they see me. Ahhhhh yes. I am indeed  SO happy.

-Elia

P.S. Have I mentioned lately how awesome my parents are for 150% supporting me on my adventures from day one? Because they have and they are. For which I am eternally grateful.